TOOTBLAN – Thrown out on the basepaths like a nincompoop. The acronym was created just for Ryan Theriot, and the standard bearer of TOOTBLANs has decided to walk away from the game after 8 thrilling years of mediocre baseball.
After sitting out the 2013 season due to an inability to do useful baseball things, he has called it a career. This represents a rather ignominious end for the man who made the top 10 in “caught stealing” for 3 consecutive years.
But rather than bemoan the loss of a baseball icon, let us focus on his quirky niche appeal. Thanks to his penchant for making unnecessary outs due to poor decision-making, TheRiot has an Urban Dictionary entry for TOOTBLAN. Despite lacking any obvious athletic talent, he managed to put together a successful career in an unforgiving game.
He was a gamer. He was scrappy. He was a less likeable Aaron Miles, and he’s perhaps best known for helping the St Louis Cardinals win the 2011 World Series by doing that one thing where he didn’t drop the ball. During that memorable run, he also helped the team secure several wins by not making too many outs.
So we bid adieu to TheRiot, World Series Champion and TOOTBLAN HoF member…