Writers Blow a Gast-ket Composing Headlines

Cardinals’ rookie John Gast made his major-league debut Wednesday night in a 10-4 win over the Mets. With a surname that begs to be both punned and rhymed, it was no surprise to see a few headlines that were just a little bit, well, Gast-ly.

After all, Gast is only one letter away from the word “gas”. Something the folks at 101 ESPN noticed as well.


In something of an upset though, many headline writers decided to unleash their inner poet after the game, as per this example from STLToday.com.


The most egregious offender though had to be the major league baseball itself, starting with this entry, which couples the power of rhyme with just a hint of flatulence.


But that was nothing compared to this next headline, which could have come straight out of a Dr. Seuss book.


I do not like headlines with ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am.

As one might expect, once a general public is bombarded with rhymes and puns, eventually this sort of thing starts trickling into online forums.


Which lead to this interesting comment:


On second thought, I think I could tolerate a million puns if Gast had an arm like Cincinnati’s Aroldis Chapman.

Some more headlines we definitely expect to see before John Gast’s career is done.

“John Turns in a Gastly Performance”
“Cardinals Run Out of Gast Against Reds”
“Miller Just Passed Gast for Team Lead in Wins”
“Cardinal Fans A-Gast Over Situation in Middle East”
“Gast from the Past: John Returns to Busch as Marlin, Topples Cards”

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  1. to change a letter from the opening line of Atlas Shrugged: “Who is John Gast?”

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