Mocking cancer victims on television during Game 4 of the World Series of Mostly American Baseball takes a special kind of maliciousness. Using a Stand Up 2 Cancer sign to make a funny about a Molina having cancer requires next level wanton ignorance. Hijacking a solemn dedication to cancer victims and cancer awareness for your next “look at me” moment? That’s your $6 StubHub ticket to eternal condemnation.
Bachelor contestant Sarah Newlon, consider yourself my be-atch.
After you finish apologizing to the Molina family, the SU2C organization, MLB, Cardinals fans, Red Sox fans, and every other living being on the planet, go make me a sammich. When you are done, take a moment to reflect on the terrible life decision(s) that brought you to this point.
During a rather emotional and poignant Stand Up 2 Cancer moment, Newlon shared a good laugh with her Bro Dog partner in crime by standing up for “Molina”.
Not even Beelzebub thinks that’s funny, Sarah. Perhaps you should stick to your day job of flaunting your wares in short skirts and bikinis. Alternatively, you can try to make amends. Here’s a few ideas for starters…
- Head to the nearest tattoo shop and get a “Cancer Sucks” tramp stamp (unless you already have one). This will guarantee that hundreds, nay thousands of people get the message.
- Go on some scandalous reality tv show and list your top 20 indiscretions and/or transgressions, beginning with the time you were on tv during the World Series.
- Go on Jimmy Fallon’s show and admit freely that you are actually a man.
- Adopt 50 puppies and kitties, and then spend the rest of your life hoarding them but treating them well.
- Use your fame (and infamy) to make the world a better place by spreading the word about how terrible the Hardee’s commercials really are.