Cardinals sign PED user not named McGwire

Jhonny PEDralta (the “d” is silent) just signed a 4 year, $53M deal to become Pete Kozma’s backup at shortstop.  Most fan bases welcome the signing of a much-needed free agent with excitement and anticipation.  Not necessarily so in St. Louis.

Jhonny’s 50-game suspension last season stemming from his connection to Biogenesis has cast a pall over the signing.  Peralta carries with him the stigma of being a PED user, and the angry Ballpark Villagers are up in arms.

Yet know that the village people are forgiving.  There exists a single way forward through this barely navigable minefield of shame.  All Peralta needs to do is hit 70 home runs, lift a child into the air after he crosses the plate, and establish a great on-camera rapport with Sammy Sosa.

jhonnykozma

It’s the Cardinal Way, and it worked for Mark McGwire…

 

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  1. This photograph is disgusting and extremely disrespectful to Cardinal player Pete Kozma.

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