Albert Pujols to Miami? “Back to the Future” nailed it again.

11
Nov
2011

As the fellas over at the Post-Dispatch reported yesterday, Albert Pujols is being courted by Miami today.  Now, we know what you’re thinking: there’s no baseball team with the “Miami” city prefix.  Sure, the Florida Marlins *play* in Miami…but they’re not *labeled* as a Miami baseball team.

Well, that changes today.  Tomorrow, the Florida Marlins will be known as the “Miami Marlins”.  You know, because branding was a big problem for the Marlins’ attendance; not the perpetual rain, the influx of geriatrics, and the organization pawning budding superstars every five-years.

Anyway, here’s where it gets really bizarre.

In “Back to the Future II”, Marty travels into the future (spoiler alert) and observes a news broadcast.  During this broadcast, it’s announced that the Chicago Cubs beat the ‘Miami Gators’ in the 2015 World Series.

Oh, crap.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Dude, relax.  It’s a movie.  Besides, they said that the Cubs won the World Series, which ain’t happening this century.”  Well, sure.

It would also mean that the Miami Marlins would need to become competitive themselves.  Again.  Given that they’re currently showing Albert Pujols around South Beach right now…and expect to sign Jose Reyes over the next 24 hours…we’d say that is well underway.

Plus, this means that the now-Miami Marlins would need to flop over to the American League (assuming that the Cubs are still in the National League in 2015) as well as change their name from “Marlins” to “Gators” over the course of the next three years.  Not likely, right?

Well, there are currently 16 teams in the National League and 14 teams in the American League.  It makes sense to even that out by moving the Miami Marlins over to the American League.  That way, they can play the Tampa Rays 16 times a year, in one of those “in-state rivalries” that no one cares about. Plus, given some of the re-branding decisions that have already occurred, we suppose the Marlins *could* evolve their existing logo into a cartoon alligator.  It’s possible.

So, yeah.  Crap.

Besides, earlier this year, Nike released replicas of the sneakers that Michael J. Fox wore in “Back to the Future II”.  If you’re still following along, what we’re saying is that everything from this movie comes true.

And it starts with Albert Freaking Pujols visiting that “new team from Miami”.

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