BR8KING NEWZ: Cartoon Fast Eddie Unhappy with Cardinals


Following consecutive games in which the Cardinals coughed up 6-run and 5-run leads in walk-off losses to the Rockies, the backlash against the team has begun to reach beyond frustrated fans.

Sources have indicated that a significant and long-term supporter of the team broadcasts on FSN Midwest has threatened to pull advertising should the team’s play not improve in the next few weeks.

The sponsor making the threats is Cartoon Fast Eddie, star of the commercials for Fast Eddies Bon Air, the Alton establishment owned by Cartoon Eddie’s human counterpart.  Cartoon Fast Eddie was previously believed to be a character created solely for advertising purposes but, in addition to the unauthorized verbal demands he is now issuing to FSN and the Cardinals, rumors persist that he has become difficult to work with and has been seen hanging out at the Alton Belle Casino late night with fellow local advertising icons Becky Queen of Carpets and the Dirt Cheap Chicken.

When contacted, Cartoon Fast Eddie explained his aggressive stance towards the Cardinals team and defended his decision to speak out…

“Human Fast Eddie might not agree with me, but I’m the star of the commercials.  I’m the one who has my mouth wide open inhaling $.29 peel and eat shrimp in front of Cardinal nation,” said the clearly agitated cartoon. “The way I see it, that gives me the right to speak my peace when the Cardinals are playing like crap.  I’ve never even come across patrons at the bar who stink as bad as that team has the last few weeks and that’s saying something.”

An advertising expert contacted by JoeSportsFanSTL said the commercials were already “borderline creepy” and that he does not see the issue having any negative impact on Fast Eddies Bon Air. 

“No matter what that big mouthed cartoon says, they still have the coldest Busch in town.”


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