JSF Power Rankings: Cardinals Wispy Bullpen Mustaches


Yesterday morning the St. Louis Cardinals front office announced Derek Lilliquist as the new bullpen coach. When the Lilliquist’s photo appeared in STL Today to accompany the news, we officially had inspiration for the latest edition of JSF Power Rankings.

As Lilliquist clearly understands, some of the most successful arms in the bullpen come equipped with one notable trait – a wispy mustache.  With that in mind, we count down the Top 5 best wispy upper lips to appear in the Cardinals bullpen since 1982…

5.) Bill Campbell
Billy had it all, the afro-like hair, the versatility needed from a reliever and perhaps most importantly the lightly dusted upper lip that made it look like he’d just indulged in a powdered donut…

4.) Jeff Lahti
He led the team in saves during the magical 1985 season and we’re assuming that is the primary reason he and his blonde ‘stache are sporting such a large smile…

3.) Ralph Citarelli
Okay, wispy isn’t exactly the proper word for Ralph’s mustache, but something about it just screams “dirty” which matched the strict criteria we had in establishing these Power Rankings. congrats, Ralph, you made the cut…

2.) Tim Conroy
Unlike Citarelli, Conroy’s epitomizes the word “wispy” in that his facial hair could easily be mistaken for a perfectly placed shadow if the sun was just right.  We can assure you, it’s not…

1.) Cris Carpenter
When someone mentions a Cardinals pitcher named Carpenter, you could easily mistake it for the current Chris Carpenter that has become one of the top starters in baseball.  But the one that played with the Cardinals from 1988 through 1992, undoubtedly beat his modern counterpart when it came to wearing a thin dirtlip that made him look like a 14-year old boy.

While current day Chris Carpenter may have a Cy Young on his shelf, Cris Carpenter can brag that he took home an equally prestigious award – JSF Power Rankings #1 Wispy Bullpen Mustache Award…

We’re not positive about his preference, but if we could guess by facial hair, this group might be perfect for Derek Lilliquist’s bullpen.


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