The Best of Home Opener PUJOLS Jersey Modifications
Modified Albert Pujols jerseys. It’s a trend that we’ve documented (here, here and here) over the past two months of Spring Training and a movement that we fully expected to reach a critical mass during the Home Opener at Busch Stadium this past weekend.
Last week, we challenged our JSF fan hunters to capture this movement on camera and they simply overachieved. We had many antagonists to choose from, but we’ve narrowed it down to a beefy top ten list. We promise this isn’t a sneaky advertisement for duct tape.
10.) TRAITOR #5
We begin the list with something short, simple and a bit unoriginal. Quite frankly, this young man makes our list because he owns the widest duct tape on the planet. That’s impressive stuff.
9.) WHO!$ #$
By and large, fans that are willing to use a personalized jersey as a billboard for expression aren’t the most polite people in the stadium. Since Pujols’ name can be easily skewed into a potty joke, that’s usually the direction taken by jersey modifiers. A moniker that emerged this weekend was “Whojols”. It’s nice, clean, family fun.
This is a variation of that moniker, albeit a messy one. The dollar-sign after the exclamation point just doesn’t make grammatical sense. Then again, this isn’t really a list that upholds many standards of the English language.
8.) FREESE #X
This is just pure laziness. Although, scissors were involved in this creation and cutting duct tape is near impossible. Plus, if David Freese changes his number to Roman numeral “X”, this fan is way ahead of the curve.
7.) PUJOLS #250 MILLION
Typically, our antagonists alter the nameplate on their Pujols jerseys. If they alter the number, it’s usually via a few slashes through the number-five to create a dollar-sign. We respect the creativity here because this man thought outside of the box. That being said, Pujols contract was $254 million, not $250 million.
But really, who’s counting? Oh, right. This guy.
6.) FURCAL #15
You have to be careful using the words “looks decent” when duct tape is involved. That being said, this jersey modification looks decent. Of course, we can’t give much credit to the duct tape. It’s the red Sharpie marker that stands out. That’s just overachieving, folks.
5.) GREEDY $
Duct tape? Don’t think so. Electrical tape? Boorish. This man went above and beyond and had his own shirsey printed – which means you’ll probably be able to purchase one on a street corner very soon, if you can’t already.
What’s the most surprising here is that Matt Holliday would wear something that derogatory about a former teammate. Seems a little unprofessional, no?
4.) ASSHOLE #5
Black electrical tape is duct tape’s snobby cousin and has become a recent favorite of jersey modifiers. Its width is very similar to the width of MLB uniform letters and it present a little cleaner. This offering is a decent effort, but we deduct points for simply crossing-out the “s” on the end of “PUJOLS”.
If you’re going to overachieve with the electrical tape, grab some Wite-Out and remove that “S”.
3.) SELLOUT #5
We’re dealing with a professional below. There’s no duct or electrical tape in sight. This jersey is legit and so is the revised nameplate. This jersey could have made our top spot if he used a “$” in place of the “S” in “SELLOUT”. Then again, we’re probably giving a guy with a cowboy hat made out of Bud Light boxes a bit too much credit in the “rational thought” category.
2.) JUDAS #$
Albert Pujols is a devout Christian and hasn’t exactly avoided telling fans and media that during his 12-year MLB career. This fan played the religion angle by referencing Judas Iscariot, one of the most famous names in The New Testament and infamously known for his kiss and betrayal of Jesus.
Although, if we follow that storyline, that means that the guy below is calling himself Jesus. Or all of Cardinal Nation – which seems about right.
(via Darin S.)
1.) A JOLS #5
Our top prize goes to the woman below. As previously stated, the whole “poo-holes” joke is a little played. Okay, it’s REALLY played. But leveraging the Anaheim “A” was extremely creative and looks like its a part of the actual jersey (read: she didn’t use something that’s typically used to patch holes in a backyard water hose).
Honorable Mention: GANT #5
And honorable mention goes to the jersey below. We’re not sure what “Gant” means, but we found it funny.*
* To avoid nasty emails from diehard Ron Gant fans (they’re an edgy bunch), allow to state that we do realize that the jersey above is actually paying homage to former Cardinals OF and not a Pujols jersey modification.