The St. Louis Cardinals are officially out of puns.


Like most mainstream outlets and organizations, the St. Louis Cardinals love a good play on words.  Puns make production and consumption easier, they say.  That way, people have to think less.  It’s easy.  And there’s nothing that makes a headline writer happier than a baseball player whose first or last name can be sandwiched in the middle of a sentence.

You want examples?  Fine.

  • Another Holliday Weekend
  • Cards Get Bogged Down
  • Carpenter Crafts a Masterpiece
  • Tyler Greene with Envy
  • Freese Breaks Cold Streak

Undoubtedly, David Freese was the chief subject of last year’s puns since it worked on so many levels.  The latest duke of the double entendre has been starting pitcher, Lance Lynn.  After all, Lynn’s last name parlays upon the success of Jeremy Lin, who stared for the New York Knicks this past season.

Lynncredible, Just Lynn Time, Lynn-conceivable….and, of course, Lynnsane in the Membrane.  No seriously, that last one is real.  Click on the link.  We dare you.

The amount of puns involving Lance Lynn’s name are nearly infinite.  Some might say, to Lynnfinity and beyond.  Hiyooooooo.  Anyway, it appears that our preconceived notion of Lance Lynn pun availability was entirely inaccurate.  There’s a ceiling and the St. Louis Cardinals just reached it on the new cover of Gameday Magazine.

We’re not even looking for clever insertions of Lance Lynn’s name. The Cardinals are literally taking up magazine cover real estate to explain puns now.

We eagerly anticipate another successful fall for David Freese and the subsequent headline, “YOU SEE, A WINTER FREEZE IMPLIES COLD WEATHER, BUT THE GUY ON OUR TEAM NAMED FREESE HAS A NAME THAT SOUNDS LIKE FREEZE.  ANYWAY, HE’S TOTALLY HOT.”



  • Matt says:

    Along the lines of headline puns..

    Regarding the NBA finals, what is the over/under on each respective city using the following headline?

    “They’re Bringing The HEAT” or “LeBron’s bringing the Heat”

    “They’re Bringing The THUNDER” or “Durant’s bringing the Thunder”

    It’s a championship made for the headlines.

  • Metz says:

    Rafael Furcal goes into pitch in a 22 inning game in late August against Milwaukee – gets the win and the “Furcal” to the Bullpen cover story about how he was a pitcher growing up in the DR, or wherever the hell he’s from. The Cards haven’t run out of puns, they’ve run out of creativity.

  • Jared says:

    Does someone know who the OKC equivalent to Joe Sports Fan is? I need to report this terrible Thunder pun to them.

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