We Can’t Quit You, Albert


David Freese’s helmet. Autographed balls from the 1982 team. Adam Wainwright’s locker room nameplate. The Cardinals are auctioning off a lot of good stuff this month via their team-run version of eBay

And of all the items for sale this time around, what is checking in as the most coveted?

If only we could quit you, Albert…

While everything else on the virtual shelf has received minimal attention (half the items haven’t received a single bid), Pujols’ “Stars & Stripes” hat has 10+ people battling for it since it went on the market last week and its checking in at a healthy $425…for a hat…worn by a guy who doesn’t play for the team anymore.

We have two theories about why/how this puppy has already tripled in value from its opening bid:

1.) There is a frenzy of Angels fans online hoarding every piece of “El Hombre” memorabilia they can get their paws on.  This one is very possible considering some clowns are already paying over $150 for the photoshopped Topps card  we featured last month.

2.) The Cardinals front office cranked up the number with a few planted bids as a way of saying “you may not play for us anymore, Albert, but we’re still making money on you.”

We just hope that whoever wins the auction realizes that their new purchase will probably demand more coin in a few years and then ultimately bolt for someone else’s head.  (Fist pump…tear rolls down cheek)


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