JSF Power Rankings – Strangest STL College Mascots
When the Huffington Post recently came out with their list of the 10 Strangest College Mascots, it would be assumed by most in St. Louis that a prominent school in the area that features a fictional charm doll as it’s mascot would have to make the cut. If it didn’t take the #1 spot, it would at least be sniffing the Top Ten, right?
Well, we were wrong. But St. Louis did have a Top Ten finisher, just one that was different than we expected. So we dove into some additional research and decided to make our own Power Rankings featuring the Top 5 Strangest Local College Mascots…
5.) SIUE Cougars
10 years ago, having a team named “Cougars” just meant the mascot was a big cat, not exactly unique in a college world filled with Tigers and Panthers. But then came the recent alternate definition of the word and suddenly your team is named after 40-year divorcee’s on the hunt for young meat at the local bar. What used to be slang now has a TV show and a dating site named after it.
All we can assume is that when the housing assignments come out, most 18-year old male freshman are praying that they are moving into the dorm called “Cougar Village”.
4.) UMSL Tritons
When a school changes it’s 40-year old nickname due to PR reasons, it’s one thing. But we’re going to go ahead and say the previous name – Rivermen – had a little more relevance in a city blanketed by major rivers, than the new name which represents a mermaid-like creature from Greek mythology. Now UMSL is in that awkward period where the new students likely have no clue why they’re called the Tritons and graduates are pissed they’re not Rivermen anymore.
But hey, at least you’ve got that sweet trident for a logo.
3.) SLU Billikens
The fact that the alien-esque troll ranks 3rd means that we’ve got some freaky mascots in St. Louis. No need to explain the Billiken, because we’ve all seen it a thousand times. Some times running around the court at a basketball game, other times in our nightmares.
2.) Webster University Gorloks
According to Webster’s website, the Gorlok is a mythical creature that has “the paws of a speeding cheetah, horns of a fierce buffalo, and the face of a dependable Saint Bernard.” And by “mythical creature” we mean “was named after two streets in Webster Groves” (Gore and Lockwood).
1.) St. Louis College of Pharmacy Eutectics
The only St. Louis area college to make the Huffington Post’s list was the old Eutectics, checking in at #7. And anytime you name your school mascot after the scientific process of combining two solids to form a liquid it means two things: 1. your school has an incredible strange mascot that only the students understand and 2. people find out for the first time that the School of Pharmacy actually has athletics.
Hey, if strapping on the Euts uniform means you’re Doctor of Pharmacy degree is being paid for, then more power to them.