Today the American Mustache Institute released its 2013 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year award, perhaps the most important award in the global award space.
Yet ominously missing was St. Louis Rams Coach Jeff Fisher, the Mustached American icon whom I interviewed last year for ESPN — and man who is possibly the greatest cocksman this side of Tiger Woods — when he was married.
Keep in mind that the Goulet award is not a “best mustache” contest but recognizes the person best contributing to the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle over the past year, with the winner will be announced at ‘Stache Bash 2013 Presented by Wahl Trimmers, on October 26 in Pittsburgh.
But I ask you — who’s done more for the mustache not just in St. Louis, but nationwide, over the past year?
No one, that’s who.
“The Goulet award finalists are a best-in-class of the past year’s Mustached American people,” AMI Chairman Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove said of the Goulet award, which in recent years the award has been called on par with the Nobel Prize for Peace by astrophysicist Stephen Hawking. “Some 900 other worthy candidates were left on the cutting room, but come ‘Stache Bash 2013 in Pittsburgh, we will crown a deserving winner and toast their greatness.”
Yeah? But why not Fisher?
The 2013 finalist pool is an interesting one – you can see the list in full here – as it includes Ron Burgundy and Brian Fantana; St. Louis-area woodworker and master craftsman Dave Stine; Boston bombing suspect nabber David Henneberry; Bryan Harper who plays in the Washington Nationals organization; National Hockey League’s Mike Brown of the Edmonton Oilers; and the annual animated finalist — Cartoon Network’s Uncle Grandpa.
When pushed about Fisher’s omission, all Dr. Causgrove would say is, “It’s up to the people and Mr. Fisher, while bold and beautiful, was not nominated.”
Regardless, whether or not leaving off Fisher is fair or not, at least we can take heart knowing that one St. Louis sports star is deeply associated with the Goulet award — new Cards closer John Axford won the award in 2011.
So at least we’ve got that.