Weekly Hypothetical: ride a rollercoaster with any current or former St. Louis athlete

01
May
2012

Earlier this week, KSDK’s Julie Tristan swooned all over Cardinals 3B David Freese during a feature for “Show Me St. Louis!” at Six Flags.  The piece embarrassed women, the media and theme park patrons who are just looking for asexual roller coaster rides.  Some of the primo lines from the interview:

“We’re going to hit on you, heavily.”

“I think what everyone wants to know is … do you have a girlfriend???”

“Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?”

Great stuff.  Now, we’re not going to ask you whether or not you prefer blondes or brunettes, but we will use this debacle as the impetus for this week’s Weekly Hypothetical.

Without further ado, let’s get jiggy with it.

KSDK organizes a summer “Julie Tristan Fantasy Camp”.  As a member of said camp, you have the ability to invite any current or former St. Louis athlete to ride one roller coaster at Six Flags with you.  The Ninja, Screaming Eagle, Castaway Kids, whatever.  Your call.

What are you choosing?

We’ll read the best answers on Episode Six of The JoeSportsFan Show.  You can participate one of three ways.

1.) Leave a comment below.

2.) Email us: theshow@joesportsfan.com.

3.) Send us a message on Twitter at @JoeSportsFan.

Heck, if you’re feeling extra saucy, hashtag your response with #JSFHypothetical.

 

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20 Comments

  • Ted says:

    I’m riding Castaway Kids with Tommy Herr…and Tito Landrum’s kid with Herr’s wife will be riding in the car behind us.

  • Jason says:

    Tom’s Twister with Tony Twist. Duh!! Man I am gay!

  • 12in12 says:

    Front row next to Denny Reyes. The pictures of the people getting soaked while sitting behind the Big Sweat would be fantastic. They wouldn’t need to ride the Tidal Wave after that.

  • ScottyP says:

    I’m not going to settle for one ride.

    1) Castaway Kids w/ Matt McGwire, AJ Pujols, & Devon LaRussa
    2) The Boss w/ Mike Matheny
    3) The Tidal Wave w/ So Taguchi
    4) Hurricane Harbor then Friar Tuck turkey legs w/ Ray King, Esteban Yan, & Dennys Reyes
    5) Colossus w/ Rick Ankiel (I have a man-crush, all right?)

    Best Six Flags visit ever.

  • Adam says:

    I’d want to get tanked and then get on the Screaming Eagle with Spiezio. Simulating post World Series celebration with the Sandfrog boys seems like it would be a good time.

  • I’d ride the Screaming Eagle with David Eckstein. If he’s tall enough.

    Adam- Sandfrog reference ftw!

  • James in Wichita says:

    Please. Anna Kournikova of the St. Louis Aces (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Louis_Aces) on the Tornado. You, AK, “5,000 gallons of churning H20,” and a tiny rubber raft? The mind reels.

  • Greg W says:

    Man, the Kournikova reference is solid. Nicely done. I’d probably go with Chris Carpenter because you know he’d be screaming curse words the entire time.

  • Scott says:

    Ninja with David Greene- If you think it’s freaky now, try it when you’re wired.

  • Scott says:

    Hurricane Harbor with Yogi Berra, because
    “You can observe a lot just by watching”

  • Scott says:

    Thunder River in October with Leon Spinks.. To solve the forever unanswered question: If 2 teeth chatter in the cold, does anyone hear ?

  • Zach says:

    I’d like to go down the Pirate Ship Slides in Hurricane Harbor with Juan Encarnacion cause he’d fit in perfectly with his eyepatch. Arrrr

  • Richard says:

    If I may I’d like to just take the Fantasy Camp owner, Ms. Tristan. Since I actually prefer blondes I’d choose to go on the Batman. Short ride, easy to get off.

  • Heath says:

    Tidal Wave with Richie Incognito.

    There are two aspects to the tidal wave. You need massive bulk for an epic splash. You also have to stand on the overpass and get soaked a second time. For this secondary splash, you should choose an athlete that St. Louis hates. Richie Incognito is the fattest, most hatest St. Louis athlete I know.

  • Ron Can't says:

    Anywhere in Hurricane Harbor with any Blues player because at any given time in the summer 2/3 of Blues fans will be there. Therefore, we get to butt to the front of every line.

    Bonus point: you get joy of seeing Bloosiers coming out of the wave pool with beaters and jorts.

  • Johno M says:

    I’d go with Steven Jackson, but he has got to let his hair down. So when were riding the boss his hair is constantly whipping the people in front of us and behind us.

  • Ryan R says:

    I know he’s not an athlete, but I want to ride The Batman with Josh the Batboy, the legendary bat boy of the St. Louis Cardinals. It’s just too on-the-nose not to.

  • Poteeto says:

    Any Roller Coaster with Mike Shannon, so when we’re ascending to the drop he can scream “GET UP BABY, GET UP!”

  • The Softball Guy. I bet he could down a six of Busch from takeoff to arrival on any of Six Flags Saint Louis’ thrill rides.

  • Mark says:

    I wouldn’t mind riding a roller coaster with the Matt Sebek. No I’m not gay and unclear if he played sports in st. louis. But, would love to see how the product in his hair holds up afterwards.


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